Carrying tHE light

It has now been two weeks since the Darshan. Right after it, I felt a deep tiredness. I can’t remember the last time I slept so deeply. For five nights in a row, I slept like a log, as if I had been completely switched off. I slept nine to ten hours without waking even once. It felt as if my whole system had been reset to zero.

Later, I learned that this is very common after Darshan. When the soul receives such a deep touch of light, the nervous system begins to reorganize itself. The light goes so deep that both the body and the mind need a period of complete rest in order to receive it. It is like an inner program being updated, and the only safe way for that to happen is through total stillness.

Darshan is not just a beautiful experience. It is a seed planted within us. When God’s gaze touches us, the heart remembers. But then begins a process in which the light starts to work within us, quietly and steadily.

A week later, I began to feel something move inside. That was the beginning of the dream phase. I have been seeing dreams where layers of the subconscious arise, fears, memories, and things that have long been hidden. Last night I dreamed I was cleaning dried, hardened dirt from the walls and a sink. It was stuck and difficult to remove. It was such a clear image of what is happening inside me, how the light is cleaning away old layers, even those that have not wanted to let go.

But why does this purification happen? Why can’t we just stay in the state of light and love?

Guruji, Paramahamsa Vishwananda, says that real transformation does not happen only through a momentary opening of the heart or the flow of energy. It happens only when the mind itself begins to change.

The mind is the filter through which we experience everything. As long as it operates under old patterns, fears, and beliefs, a person may have great spiritual experiences and still return to the same restlessness and feeling of separation. According to Guruji, real change happens only when the mind begins to see the light in every moment and serve the truth of the heart.

Yogic wisdom teaches the same. Only when the movements of the mind begin to calm does one truly see reality as it is. The mind does not have to disappear, but its perspective changes. It begins to serve the soul instead of controlling it.

This does not happen overnight. It is inner work, gentle and continuous, a process where the mind learns the rhythm of the heart. Step by step, old thought patterns melt away and are replaced by clarity, silence, and trust.

And this does not apply only to Darshan. The same is true for any moment when light truly touches us, when our hearts open and God comes close. In the end, it is not the experience itself that matters, but what happens afterward.

True transformation begins when light starts to shape the way we live, think, and are present, when it begins to guide us from within. This is why, after every Premashakti session, I remind that the moment itself is not the goal but the beginning, and that the real work begins with how we allow the experience to take root in our daily life. Every touch of light also brings a responsibility, the responsibility to live from that light. God’s gifts are sacred. If we do not carry them in our hearts and live according to them, why would He keep giving them to us again and again?

That is why it is so important that we do not remain at the level of experience alone. Many of us may have a deep and beautiful moment when the heart opens and light comes close. But if afterward we return to hurry and old habits, nothing truly changes. The experience remains only an experience. For light to truly take root, it must descend into our whole being, into the mind, the nervous system, and the body.

ON THE LEVEL OF THE MIND the work means beginning to notice our own thoughts and gently bringing them back to love. It means pausing when the mind tries to return to old fears and remembering that the light has not gone anywhere, it is right here. A daily practice, such as meditation or mantra repetition, helps to quiet the mind and keep it in the rhythm of the heart. The mind begins to change with every moment we choose trust over fear, gratitude over worry, and kindness toward ourselves, even when the old mind still resists.

ON THE LEVEL OF THE NERVOUS SYSTEM light needs a ground to settle into. That is why we need rest, silence, and grounding. The body needs warmth, nourishment, sleep, time in nature, and conscious breathing, so that it can hold a new vibration.

ON THE LEVEL OF DAILY LIFE the rooting of light shows in how we live, how we think, speak, meet others, and respond to small challenges. It shows in how we stay present even in the midst of busyness and responsibilities. When we learn to do everything a little slower and with more awareness, light begins to live through our daily life. This also means remembering to pause during the day, even for a moment, to return to the connection we have already experienced. A moment of silence, prayer, or mantra does not only calm the mind but helps the light to root deeper into our life.

When these three levels meet, the mind begins to quiet, the nervous system relaxes, and daily life begins to breathe a sense of constant connection. Then the transformation Guruji speaks about happens. The heart, mind, and body become one.

The deeper the light takes root, the more sensitive the heart becomes. It starts to recognize the moments when God’s light is near, and also those when He draws us into silence so we can come even closer. Sometimes the light touches so deeply that tears simply rise. This week I have cried a lot, but these tears are not of sadness, they are something much more sacred.

It is the prayer of the soul, born from having tasted home. The heart remembers the light it once opened to and longs to live in that light every moment. I thank these tears, for I know they are God’s gift of grace. Everything I have been given to experience has been His grace. That is why I do my best to let His gift take root in my life.

I believe this is the most beautiful way to thank God, for every moment He opens our hearts to the light, by doing our part and letting that light become real in our daily life. <3

If you have not yet read my first post about the Darshan experience, you can read it here.